It is really feeling like summer here tonight. We finally unpacked the little campfire that Lee got for Father's Day and made a fire out on the patio. Hot dogs and marshmallows followed, with bouts of swimming in between. It was nice to have just the four of us home and in the backyard, relaxed. This really doesn't happen enough,
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I had gotten so used to blogging nearly every day that I woke up in the middle of the night in a panic – I had forgotten about my beloved Teddy’s house blog! It seems that the end of school was so dramatic for us at Teddy’s house, with recitals and graduations and school plays and baseball baseball baseball that I had forgotten to keep my on-line thoughts updated. Well, I’m back. I am sure you are wondering what brought me back – it’s all bc of Grandma. Thanks G’ma! The boys are spending 2 nights and 2+ days with G’ma and G’pa.
What a treat for everyone – but mostly for me.
I won’t tell G’ma that Josh discovered the phone in the guest room and has been calling me every few hours to tell me that he is homesick but does not want to come home. I can completely agree with him! I miss him, but I do not want him to come home!
Normally Lee and I would be off to a hotel in Boston or a B&B in Vermont, however this weekend we find ourselves with no dog sitter and no gas money and the desire to hang out at our own house. We did a lot of bike riding and some running and napping and movie watching and out to dinner and trips to the bookstore. So it was a real weekend of doing what we wanted. And now I am ready to see my kids J
I rode my the company bike to work today! I do not actually own a working bike and I did not win the free bike from my favorite blog, crankyfitness.com. However, for reasons still unknown to me, one of my partners here at work bought 2 bikes last summer (with the company cash). I think he wanted a new bike and justified his purchase by buying some extras. So, anyway I have adopted one of the bikes. After much consultation with Lee as to the route that I should take and also much packing and repacking of my backpack (it feels so heavy – and yet has nothing in it!) I rode the 4+ miles to work. Ok, so not a very long distance. In fact it took me barely 20 minutes. I haven’t been this early to work in a years. The hardest part was negotiating the traffic and the train tracks. There are a few potentially fatal intersections between home and work, and even in a car they can be suicidal. I tried to be smart and still look “cool”.. ie.. not ride the entire way on the sidewalk. I wanted to be a real rider… hmm… except that my helmet is completely broken and sits on my head sideways…J Now, I just need to get me and the bike home.
It is really hard to keep up with the save the environment talk when we have so much fun out on the boat. At the same moment that I disparaged anyone who would drive a Hummer, my husband mutters comments about our twin 150's, hmmm. It is hard to be a consumer loving American and still preach to my kids about turning out the lights and recycling. I am sure that there are many families that would make the choice not to own a powerboat, especially with the high gas prices. Is it enough that we are willing to forgo our "tear arounds"? These are basically Lee driving the boat really fast out around the islands off the North Shore while the kids hang out in the front of the boat and laugh into the wind at the high speeds.
We have some of our best days out on the boat. Would we really be able to give that up?
For example, yesterday during a lull in the fishing, while Lee was working on the fishing gear, Teddy complained to me that he was sooo bored. I agreed, that I was also kinda' bored. But then I reviewed the alternative with him - we could be home doing homework, laundry, dishes, fighting with your brother. Instead we were out here together - trapped with your family. Although I know that the boys are still young, I also know that they each increasingly want to call their friends and be away from me. The time when they won't spend the day on the boat with their parents is coming, so we are going to enjoy a little boredom together until then.
Why is that I can spend hundreds of dollars on cookbooks AND cooking magazines at the grocery store and still have nothing to cook?? I watch the food network nearly every night. I love cooking challenge shows - my favorites being Food network Challenge and Top Chef. I can sit on the couch for hours every night and page through pictures and post-it note recipes and discuss ingredients. I can surf the Internet for hours and email recipes home to myself and print out long discussions of how to prepare.
I have even gone so far as to plan menus and add ingredients to the shopping list. I can imagine the dinners that will be served to my family every night. I have occasionally convinced Lee to cook for us and agreed to do the planning and buying...
Except that if you know me for 5 minutes you know that I do not like to cook and then if you know me for 4 more minutes you know that I do not like to shop. Life at Teddy's house is best when I leave the grocery store to Lee. I get impatient at the store.. I had to spend that much money all at once, only to go home and feel like I didn't get what I really needed, or that there is still nothing for dinner.
One reason is that I am so cheap that I often don't buy all the stuff. For example, do you really need fish sauce to make Pad Thai? Do you really need expensive smelly cheese to make fettuccine? Because I think you can get by with stir fry and mozzarella.
hmm... so after all that energy and imagination on gourmet food... this is what Teddy gets for dinner tonight... scrambled eggs and toast... and he had to make it himself....
There is a new vocabulary word bouncing around the blogosphere, oversharing. Oversharing is a blogger that reveals so much of themselves and their loved ones that it causes dysfunction and breakup in their personal life… which of course, leads to more midnight blogging of family secrets.
Some bloggers document their daily life and mundane routines in such a way that there is no need to change the names of the innocent. For example, the many cute family/workout/diet blogs that I love to read. Some bloggers change their names and the names of everyone in the blog, my personal favorites are Crabby and Merry from crankyfitness.com. They reveal only a little of themselves. Although this year with their move across the country I have learned so much more about them.
My blog really started with Carolyn’s Cure, where I was basically copying my daily journal online. This worked because my topic was so very focused each day and each experience was new and “newsworthy”. These days Teddy’s house is just my friendly little quips of stupid suburban family life. I have thought of actually putting my journal entries up there for all to see (haha – joke’s on me).. except that documenting the painful aspects of raising two boys and working on an 18 year old marriage just seems to be out of place with the best interest of my family. Maybe my blog is just my space to keep it light and anonymous and merely to document that a boring life is still a life. J
My fab hubby ran the last 1/2 mile with me..I was so ready to be done with running - actually I was ready to be done at mile 6 but couldn't find anyone to give me a ride home. He met me at the top of the bridge that is the edge of Boston and leads into the south end - waterfront area. It was nice that all the runners that had finished and were walking to their cars were cheering me on, not for a minute to any make me feel bad about being so slow. Someday when I am faster I will have to make sure that I stay at the race and cheer all those people finishing behind me.. a girl can have a fantasy, right?
So Lee was great, except that he started asking me questions and then I had to gasp at him "I can't talk right now"... so then he kept talking and babbling and then I had to gasp at him again "please no more talking". At this point I really just needed to get to the finish line, which kept getting farther away...
10 days left until the big race…my legs are tired today and my 5 miles last night was not great. In fact, I am not sure that I actually made it 5 miles. I ended up at the track at the middle school and there was some sort of running club practicing their sprints. So, I would plod around the track and pretend that I didn’t notice the large group that would engulf me on all sides as they sprinted past. It was a little depressing to be moving so slow and and to feel like an elephant plodding through a dance recital. I stayed focused on my breathing and I had a good podcast on my ipod and I was grateful that I was able to be out running at all.
I am anxious about the next 10 days but very impatient to have this behind me so I can run for fun – OMG – I cannot believe that I actually just said fun and run in the same sentence with “I”….what is happening??
hmmm... I thought that I might try and just throw the sneakers away and deny any knowledge of said lost sneakers. However, I know that Teddy would have to make this transition himself. Something like moving from a crib to the big boy bed. Also, I knew that if I attempted to foist any number of other new sneakers that I had purchased for him over the last 3+ years he would rebel and refuse to go to school without the proper foot covering. After I gently pointed out that he was spotted limping in the outfield at his last baseball game, he agreed to try a different pair of shoes for school the next day. Actually, that was all it took.. he flew down the street the next day. His feet as happy as baby birds who have finally mastered the sky! Then, on trash day we solemnly held the burial. You can see how sincerly sad his brother is.. trying hard not to smirk. Or maybe they are both laughing at me because I insisted that we document the shoe burial with photos. Josh did make an excellent point when he asked about the etiquette of picture taking at funerals...
Look at the ducks that were swimming in the pool this morning. I reinacted the Tony Soprano love affair with his birds. Mine were not as pretty, and they also flew away when the puppy went a little crazy and tried to jump the fence and get them. I managed to take some pictures and watch them enjoy the water. Then, ala Tony, I kept looking out the kitchen window, waiting for them to return...So, other than having only 20 days until the half marathon, my life has been completely about baseball. For me that means keeping the car packed with snacks and water and chairs. I also have to keep track of who is playing at what field and at what time and do I need to remember to pick up anyone else in the car pool? I realized last night as I sat at yet another game that I had been at the same field 5 nights in a row! I think that during the busy sports weeks I just get on auto pilot and each day kinda’ blurs with the rest – once the routine is set I cannot afford to vary from it or I will risk losing my sanity and the very careful balance within the house.
So, with all that going on, when am I possibly going to be able to gear up and get those final long runs in? Honestly, I have no idea. Lee and I have a wedding on Friday afternoon – what a silly time to get married. I am looking forward to a nice night out with the hubby and having a fun party to go to, but I need to run 5 miles on Friday.. and don’t think I could run to the wedding and change my clothes in the car as I have been known to do…
I am starting to actually look forward to the race… no silly – not because I am excited to run 13.2 miles, I am excited to have my life back. I am excited to not feel the pressure of a training schedule and I am excited to run when I want to and skip a day when I want to, and not feel panicked that it will ruin me on race day…only 20 days and about 100 miles left, yikes!
Holy carp – only 27 days left until I attempt the longest run of my life – the half marathon! It took weeks of discussion with S until I would actually register. The commitment, not only to the run but that I would run with S is daunting. Strangely however.. as it gets closer I am more and more prepared. I know that I will certainly not be fast and that I will struggle and be miserable until the end, however, I am beginning more sure that I am actually going to be able to “go the distance”.
I added up all the miles that I have run since 1/1/08 – 213 miles year to date. Yes, I am keeping a running journal, my new substitute for years of obsessive food journaling. There is so much satisfaction in looking back on the pages and seeing the numbers going up. For example, on January 6 I wrote “5 miles to the high school –omg”… and yesterday I ran to the high school … and then I ran home! omg! What a great feeling!
I just entered an online contest to win a bike.. I am already dreaming about where I am going to store my new bike and how great my first triathalon is going to be with me on my new bike. I will not have to ride the old sears bike that is in the shed with 2 flat tires. And I will not have to ride the company bike that I frequently borrow but then I feel guilty because the bikes are for the employees and I should certainly be able to go get my own bike instead of stealing the bike out of the company cafeteria.
Anyway, to enter the contest you had to write a few sentences on how to stay young. Of course, I immediately thought of food and all of my “food preaching” that I so enjoy – no plastics in the microwave, no plastic water bottles, local organic produce, no lunchables or sugar cereal (sorry Josh). Except that when I read the other entries I realized that everyone was basically preaching the same sermon – the contest is of course on a health food site.
Hmmm… what do I do to feel good (younger) that is different? Well, honestly if there is one lesson to be learned from getting cancer it is that you really do find out who your friends are. Without friends, you will not stay young. Everyone needs at least one person, and preferable 5 or 6, to call at all times of the day or night and repeat the same tragic or funny or pitiful story to. I am lucky enough to have a husband who can always be counted on, unless of course the story is about him and then I can call my sister who is always available to provide enough therapy that I am pretty much guaranteed to stay young forever.
Except for right now I can’t call her because she is writing her paper.. and no phone calls can be accepted on paper writing days – I have to wait for her to call me, which is a bummer when I really need to talk.
I also have a circle of 4-5 other good good friends and I can almost always find at least 2 or 3 of them to tell my story of the day to. Of course, I call them so that I can hear their story of the day also. So, unlike vegetables that you eat and feel young and then move on, friends are a renewable resource. You can replenish the friendship every day with a walk or a phone call – or if it’s my sister, you can call 10 times in one day and it would be fine.
I am going to look really young talking on the phone on my new bike J
As you know I went to a huge wedding this weekend and unexpectedly heard a really good sermon. The ceremony was Christian with a reading from Mary Baker Eddy and the minister was Christian Science. He emphasized the importance of support from friends and family. He also spoke about a “vocabulary lesson” for marriage. Here is what he said were the most important words for a successful marriage,
6 words- “I am sorry, I was wrong”
5 words- “You do that very well”
4 words- “What do you think?”
3 words- “I love you”
2 words- “Thank you”
1 word- “We”
The more I think about these words and phrases the more I am struck by how true they are and how there is very little else to say if you can learn to say these honestly and with love. I continue to be amazed at how much I love my husband after 18+ years and how we really are having the best years of our marriage right now. I am so glad that we were able to get through the really nasty years when the kids were young and I hope that we can stay strong through the teenage years ahead of us.
And below are some of the pictures. They did not come out very well, they were from my camera phone and then emailed directly to the blog – which I think is very cool! So, we had such a successful weekend all around, here are the highlights;
Lee and I had a really good time together – a great “couples” weekend
The boys had a really good time without us – both had sleepovers with good friends and then had fun with Cheri
Jules was beautiful and really really feeling good – it was great to see her!
Seeing all my cousins, many that I haven’t seen in many many years, it was nice to catch up and I really like them,
Hanging out with the sibs – Susie and John and Rae – was terrific
I will add some details later, but here it is April 14 and I still have some filings to do!
I will never know why I got cancer. I was the first of my friends to receive this awful diagnosis. Sadly, I will not be the last. My fortieth year was going to be my best year ever! I was slowly losing those stubborn last 10 pounds. My husband of 16 years and I celebrated my birthday in style, in the Bahamas. That summer, instead of feeling great I kept feeling tired and lousy. I was diagnosed at the end of August and immediately had surgery and 33 days of radiation. I stayed active throughout that time, doing yoga, acupuncture, walking and even a little swimming to keep myself positive. My purpose every day was to keep my body focused on fighting the cancer.
It took six months for me to relax into my new post-cancer life. Nearly one year later I ran my first mile, very slowly. I am lucky enough to have many strong friends around me and a running partner that continues to run longer and stronger with me each week. We started with walking and then running a single mile and advanced to a 10k and now have a half marathon on our calendars.
I have grown stronger in ways that I never imagined. I have become a woman that can enjoy life and take time to celebrate my family and friends and all my blessings. I have become the mom that brings running shoes in the car every day because I never know when my over scheduled life is going to give me an hour to get outside and stretch and run and breathe.
I have also become a gym rat, with my own locker for my swim suit and flip flops. My first step toward riding a bike began with a spin class in the middle of the NE winter. This year for my birthday I’ll be getting a bike.
My body is strong and muscled and that strength has carried through to happiness in all my parts of my life.
So, why do I tri? Actually, I haven’t tried yet, but I know that I will be there on that day in July. I will be ready to celebrate my life and my strength alongside all the other tri-ers. I know that I will continue to look for more races to run and laps to swim and miles to pedal.
Actually, two days of rest this week after the fabulous 10 miles on Sunday. Monday I really needed the rest. My whole body was tired, partly from the running and partly from the travel and being away from home. Yesterday was a regular busy day and had no time to think about running, which was nice that I could still rest and not feel bad about it. S is waiting for me to get back into the schedule with her and I hope hope hope that when I run with her today I will feel stronger from having pushed myself last week. I am wanting to see some progress in my speed and I need to remember how good the first 6 miles felt on Sunday – that is huge!
Notice that I did not say “race”, because I will in fact not be racing. My goal is to finish and then feel tired and happy about how far I have progressed since starting this “hobby”. Until I can actually achieve a 10 minute mile I will still officially be a jogger and I have to say that even that feels pretty good. I looked at the results of the 10 mile run from last year and it looks like if all goes well I will not finish last. Seriously, I have in fact finished last in 2 out of 5 races this winter and while the races that I completed had a very small field of competitors, someone must be last. I do not even feel bad about that. For example, let’s review the Super Sunday 10k that S and I ran in Boston. It was Superbowl Sunday at 8:30 am and there were only 5 women in our age group and only about 100 runners total. I was last and I still was able to feel great because it was my best time ever! I won’t dwell on the details that I kept trying to stop and walk and S bullied me to the finish line, the important thing is really that we were there and not home sitting on the couch eating chicken wings and drinking beer (note that I actually never do that anyway).
A really nice thing about this run is that the 10 mile and the marathon start together and it is a very small race. I can actually take the bus out to the starting line and wait around with Lee, I am really loking forward to that. Then of course he will dash off and I will begin my 2 hour plod. J
So, this blog really is not about my cancer and related issues, however, once you have cancer and even after you think you are cured, cancer stays with you forever! Here is the story… I went to the dentist this morning to get my regular 6 month teeth cleaning. I do not love the dentist, however I really love my clean teeth. I can relate this loosely to running, I don’t love to run but I love the results. I was in the chair with the napkin on mentally preparing myself for the scraping and the hygienist informed me that I was due for my annual x-ray. Last year I had just finished up with 33 radiation zaps and declined to get the annual x-rays. This year I also declined, the conversation went something like this;
Hygienist “We need to take some x-rays this morning before we start the cleaning”
Carolyn “hmmmm… is there a reason, because I recently had cancer and got a lot of radiation to my head and would prefer to just get the regular cleaning”
Hygienist “well, it is standard procedure to get annual x-rays and you missed last year, so it has been nearly 20 months”
Carolyn “unless there is a reason, I would prefer not to have x-rays”
Hygienist “this is not standard procedure, I will have to get Laurie the office manager”
Carolyn “ok”
Laurie “Carolyn, it is standard procedure to get annual x-rays. We cannot clean your teeth without x-rays”
Carolyn “I have never had any problems with my teeth and I prefer to keep the level of radiation exposure to my head at a minimum, (I am thinking.. just in case I ever have to go through it again) so, I guess I will have to go somewhere else.”
At this point I stand up and take off the dinner napkin. This sounds stronger than I actually felt, because it was very unexpected and I really hate confrontation, but I actually walked out of the dentist office. I guess we have officially broken up because I also called my insurance company to make sure that I was not charged for the appointment.
Just as a way to make things work out, Teddy has an appointment this afternoon with a different dentist and so I will have a chat with the office manager at that dental office and see if perhaps they can be somewhat more flexible and compassionate on the annual x-ray thing… sigh… I was really looking forward to those clean teeth.
For anyone who has not tried spinning class, it really is something not to be missed. It ranks up there with running on a cold and windy day, you really don’t enjoy it until you are done. I go with my friend C every couple of weeks (she goes a few times a week, and I just can’t keep up). The basic class is a 10 minute warm up on a “flat road” and then 2 or 3 hills, each taking about 8 minutes to climb. Now the trick is not to “cheat” because it is very easy and tempting to cheat. No one is paying attention to you and no one can tell what resistance your wheel is at. I try and keep my eyes closed and to really imagine that I am outside riding alone in the Italian country side or a cross country race, instead of my usual which is riding the bike path with the boys on the way to school.
I am hoping that all this spinning will get my back side ready for bike riding this summer. The triathlon is in July and I think I still have a lot of practicing to do and a lot more miles in the Italian country side until I am ready for that,
When a race description says this, you should believe it! My incredible family “ran” a 5k race this morning and it was sooo hard! Lee and I played rock-paper-scissors to see who would run with Josh, and I won! Which was good actually, because it gave me an excuse to run slow bc it was a really hard run.. a lot of very steep hills. I also ran home from the store so I could feel like I actually got a little work out. The wind was horrible again yesterday, and that will continue to be my excuse for running so slowly. The 10 mile race is 6 days away and I am starting to lose sleep over it… I am nervous about running that far and nervous to race without my partner, S.
Waffle makers. I really want to like to do the cooking at home. And I keep trying by way of reading lots of healthy cooking magazines and buying the correct ingredients, but the actually execution seems to be missing. Today I volunteered to make the breakfast waffles using the fresh strawberrys L had purchased earlier in the week. They had to be used quickly. So using the Trader Joes mix and adding my own yummy stuff – wheat germ, rolled oats, yogurt – I made a fantastic waffle batter batch. But, as you can see from the pictures I do not have a very good sense of how a waffle maker works. The waffles tasted good but I made a mess of the waffle maker and the counter and the clean up was not worth it.
It is another cold day today and we are home getting stuff done. Lee is fighting with the leaking toilet and the J is studying hard for a test next week. I am heading out to the mall to buy a dress for the wedding we are attending in April. 400 guests and my sisters and cousins and no kids! Lee and I on an airplane together – alone (and I know that you know what I mean). I love having a vacation to look forward to,
The wind today is so crazy that there is just no way I could really run. The temp is not horrible, upper 30’s and the sun in shining in a pleasant Vitamin D kinda’ way. I heard the wind howling all night and dreaded having to run. I am especially anxious about the 10 mile race next weekend (I am going to have to save the definition of race for another blog bc I do not yet race). I was up thinking about how far I need to run this week and what the weather was going to be like in NJ next weekend. I was almost ready to cancel my run with S and of course she will do whatever. I think we both have a little bit of competition between us, we can’t be a wimp and let the other run alone. Anyway, we headed out from her house and I wanted to do at least 7 or 8 and it turns out we actually ran just under 6. A little bit of a bummer and I need to remember to map out where we are going ahead of time so that I can add in some extra loops to keep the mileage up. It felt good and the real trick for me is not to talk to much so that I can keep my breathing steady. My throat is hurting and I am sure that is the cold weather and the terrible wind.
We have a funny adventure with the boys tonight, we are going to the Globetrotters. I will let you know how it is tomorrow,
Rejoice! Today is the first day of spring… huh? No way. Right, spring in NE. It is cold and gray and really nasty outside. The dogs are going crazy because it is so hard for me to take them for a walk on a day like today. They have to stay in the backyard and make do. I am glad that I made plans to spin tonight with C, it takes the pressure off having to run outside or even worse, contemplate the treadmill. A long weekend is coming up. We don’t have many plans, just some things to do here and there.
Sister Sue has been home this week on spring break and it has been great seeing her. She has been all over the place visiting friends from every part of her life. I definitely need to sneak in another trip to Denver,
Was that me that was just yesterday rejoicing at the glorious weather? The sunny day that will soon give way to the lush green spring? UGH I woke up this morning to snow!! I do not like snow and I especially do not like snow in March when I have put away the boots and the boys are already asking if they can wear shorts to school. I am very very glad that I can have a DOR today. Although S is going to try and do some speed work, the training plan calls for 5x400, I am taking the day off to rest after my very aggressive Sunday run and then my two runs yesterday.
I mixed up my food yesterday because I was trying not to eat a salad for lunch and then go for a run a few hours later. So instead I had a ½ pb sandwich and then I was so starving on my ride over to S’s that I ate a yogurt in the car. I can’t tell if my run was any better. I was definitely hungry and tried not to go home and completely pig out. I really missed my usuall salad full of chick peas and sunflower seeds. I am so enjoying my salad today.
Haha! I cannot believe that I am happy about 40 degrees! It is cold out, but what great running weather. Today I left work early – this is getting to be a regular Tuesday event, and met S at her house. I was changed into my sneakers and ready to go. The head band seems to be really helping my ear pain problem. So, the training schedule says we need to go 3.5 miles today and actually I think that we ended up closer to 4. It was one of the few runs that I was actually stronger than S. She was struggling with her breathing and as long as I do not have to talk, I can keep moving in a good groove. I also think that we were pretty fast – in a relative kind of way.
When Teddy got home from school he had it in his mind that he needed to start practicing his running. The family is signed up to do a 5k on Sunday (hilly and challenging) and I think that he wants to be able “run by himself”. Somehow he has delusions that he is going to win…
I am still thinking that I will be able to do the 10 mile race next in 2 hours. I would love to set a time goal for the half marathon, but I think that it is too early to tell.
My knee is hurting, more than I am letting on. I only just starting icing and resting it on the off days.
I am definitely getting the winter cold. I did get up and do a little workout video and some weights in front of the tv. I am still worried about J and I am trying so hard not to say anything critical. He can get put down by everyone else. So from me is going to be only encouragement, which doesn’t mean that I still can’t get mad at him.
S and I have officially started our marathon count down. She has the training schedule and seems pretty adamant about following it, I am not sure how this will fit in to both of our busy schedules. I think we both really look forward to running together and I am sure I would not have come this far without her.
Today we were supposed to run 3 miles and we ended up doing the entire Cedar Street loop which is closer to 4 miles. As always, really slow but it feels soo good when I am done!
Today is the last day of Ski Bradford. I am glad for the break in the schedule but the boys really loved it so much. I chatted the afternoon away. I was especially proud of Josh today, he skied so well! I have a cold coming and today I would not care any less about exercise – I just wanted to get home to bed!
Ginger is leaving, I knew this was going to happen but I hate change. I got up early and did a little weight lifting in front of the morning news. I am trying hard to get a morning routine. It is so hard to get out of bed. Soon the clocks will change and maybe I can start working out and running at night. I ran 4 miles this afternoon before the kids got home – it is cold out. Come on warm weather!
Back to school and back to work, I am happy to have the kids back in the routine. Although, we did have an outstanding vacation week. Work is so busy this time of year and it makes the days go fast and feels so productive. Spinning with C tonight and then we had such a fabulous chat. She is truly a great friend, and give me such good advice, thanks C.
